“I’ve been going out almost every night
I’ve been drinking everything
I can get my hands on
I pretend I have fun”
…and yes, being a bar regular comes with it’s perks but it says something about your lifestyle if when you stay home for a few nights, bartenders start texting to check up on you.
You tell them you’re fine, just saving money. You’ll be back soon.
“And everyone says to me… you’re so strong.
What if I don’t want to be?”
Mannequin Pussy’s song “Drunk II” is about drinking. It’s about the good nights you have out at bars with friends, new and old. It’s about the nights that started off as good ones but end with tears being shed in an alley, bathroom, dancefloor, bed. It’s about the nights that were destined to be bad because you already knew the alcohol wouldn’t make you feel better when you left the house.
But it is also about what it means to put on a brave face. I used to think that when putting on this face that my smile had to be accompanied with the words “Everything is okay.” That my words had to be a part of the lie. But now I think about the day I lost my restaurant job. I drank too much the night before and overslept one too many times. I think about walking into the bar that night and yelling, “I got fired!” I think about how my friends cheered in response as we ordered shots. I think about the laughs we shared, the games of pool we played, the cigs we smoked. I wonder if they thought I was strong.
It can be a weird thing to learn how to tell the truth with your words when your body still screams, “Everything is okay.”
(Song recommendation by Aaron Evans)