I don’t want to think about the numbers — statistics, projections, graphs, charts, models. It’s easy for my mind to get lost in a numerical rabbit hole in a ceaseless seeking of the latest data. I go through spurts of refreshing news pages, watching livestreams from government officials, waiting for the daily updates of numbers on my state’s dashboard. It’s as if my mind finds it difficult to determine the difference between being well-informed and allowing myself to become a sponge for all of the information I can find. Sometimes I have more than I can hold, more than I can sit with, more than I can fathom.
I try to look away, but then I’m caught in the whirling vortex of social media, where I’m bombarded by conspiracy theories, the thoughts and opinions of acquaintances I would have been much happier not reading, and videos from woefully out-of-touch celebrities.
Social media often makes me feel even more isolated, less connected. I deactivate my accounts, delete the apps, and go dark for a while. I seek a more potent distraction from the world outside. Maybe I pick up the pen. Maybe it’s my headphones or the remote. Maybe it’s a book. Maybe I dive back into The Sims 4. However I choose to do it, investing my time and energy in a world or experience outside of my own can act as a mental reset. It feels good to get lost inside a narrative I’m in control of rather than numbers and reactions I’m powerless over. I’m reminded of these lines from “Movies” by Weyes Blood, a song from Titanic Rising about the power of stories and escapism:
I know the meaning
I know the story
I know the glory
I love movies.
When I come back down to reality, it’s important to remember that while I may feel powerless, there are parts of my personal narrative that I can control. We all have stories to share — what will they be?
(Song recommendation by Courtney Skaggs)