I never saw a man wearing nothing but gym socks try to eat an entire campfire. Until this trip.
To make an inter-dimensional story less pretentious, a buddy of mine brought some LSD on a camping trip. I say some, because no one knows what that number is. I don’t even know if I could count that high.
The guy he got it from, who may as well be named Olnoreous Goozelfrub, was from another fuckin’ planet. He wore a “ceremonial” headdress made of a goat’s skull and at least 3 pounds of neon paper mache — a feat in and of itself.
Oh and he didn’t wear it just to sell unsuspecting stoners the most potent LSD in existence or anything — fucker wore it to like Gelsons and the laundromat and shit.
So after what you can imagine was a very low-key trip to the grocery store with the entity formerly known as whatever the fuck stands in front of me, dude busts out a 50ml dropper of what he calls “alien tears” in the parking lot(clue number how many now?).
He asks for a vessel. Amir produces a crunched up water bottle, pours a bit of vodka in it, and hands it over. Dude puts ten drops in there and stuffs the vial back in his bathrobe…I mean wizard robe.
“So,” he starts in casually, “You guys like Shpongle?”
Yea man but not as loudly as you do.
“Wait a sec, how much do we take?” I ask.
He bows, then smiles. “The universe knows that answer, young sapling.”
Amir is stoked. I’m confused. Goozelfrub is gone.
“Awesome man, now just gotta get some firewood and pick everyone else up and we are golden!” Amir taps the roof of his car as we hop in.
He shakes the little bottle and tucks it in his backpack.
“Blue Jay Campground, here we come!”
Now, it doesn’t happen often, but right about now I think I’m starting to have a feeling…
At least one of us is going to regret this.
(Song recommendation by Jon Johnson)