I’m only doing this so I can feel like I’m connecting to something.
It’s been three days and it is still here, looking out at me from behind my own eyes. If I truly controlled my breath I would’ve been dead yesterday.
Luckily, whatever it is has taken hold of a diaphragm I thought was my own to keep my breath in time with its steps.
Nothing comes to mind right now, so sorry there’s nothing much to say. Just a cycle. A damned perfectly imperfect circle.
Some controller a million miles away tapping at a soundpad and making my muscles twitch.
And then she calls. Well, she used to call. Soft at first, inviting even. Now she screams in bricks and lost lovers I never had. She drowns everything else out and all that is left is this hollow ringing in my ears (even though I chopped them off hours ago).
But at least I’m out, you know?
I’m fine. I’ll be fine.
You know what? Yeah. Just one more time, just scratch the itch. Just a taste is all. It won’t get me this time.
See, not so bad.
Fifteen seconds. Perfectly normal, regular human. Minus ears but regular all the same. I can do this.
Thirty seconds is nice, I can feel it, but it won’t win. I’ve got this.
Forty-five seconds. See I don’t know what I was worried about this song isn’t even that catch–
(Song recommendation by Jon Johnson)