Naturally, I feel out of place in most situations, but I still…enjoy them?
Iunno, this motherfuckin’ jam hits it on the head though.
Sometimes it’s easy. Find the dog/cat at the party and sit with them.
But like…other people? Ooof. Shit like small talk or gossip is lost on me.
“So James told me Darla said this, can you believe that?”
“Wow, crazy. Did you ask Darla?”
“Oh, okay, well what are you going to do about it then?”
“What? Nothing I’m going to avoid that binch until the day I die and talk behind her back and hold this grudge until it turns into a malignant tumor in my throat, why would I need to do something about it, she’s the idiot.”
“Yea no, you are totally right, sounds like a foolproof plan.”
“Anyways, let me complain about it to you some more…”
“Gah you are kinda an asshole Jon.”
I am cursed with a fuckin’ Bob-the-Builder-Mister-Fixit-solve-the-problem mentality. It’s great in my personal life — I have a problem, mull it over, find solutions, take action (Insert reductive comment about bootstraps).
But with you? If I see the “proper” course of action, it’s simple, you can do it, I help explain how you could go about it, and you just… refuse to? Thanks bye, I have better things to waste my life on. Crazy, I know.
Sooo I’m teaching myself to shut up and listen.
Not for you. I still think you are a bit off, but I’m listening. What are you not saying? There has to be a reason you decided to be like this. And maybe if I listen I’ll get something.
As “Christine” puts it, I’m crazier than you. I just cover my shadows up in public, smile, and dance to this happy, wavy beat of life and then go home and address them, hoping I come out the other side.
I’ve got full faith you’ll get over this stage of your life. That, or you’ll sink into a madness of your own creation.
Either way, commit.
(Song recommendation by Jon Johnson)