Kevin Recommends: “The Martyr” by Cursive

Cursive lays down a very special brand of self-loathing.

Ever had a good thing going and lost it all because you fucked it up? Like, you began to feel that the only reason this thing was ever good in the first place is because you were the one making all the sacrifices to keep it that way? Did it lead to you feeling victimized and resentful? Did you eventually implode on yourself?

We’ve all probably been there at some point in our lives; that is, we’ve all fallen into the martyr trap. It’s an easy one to slip into, particularly if you’re trying to manage anxiety and depression on a daily basis. Your head becomes an echo chamber of resentment for everything around you, breeding those anxious and depressed thoughts. These only grow louder the longer you hold onto them, yet you don’t feel like you can let them go because doing so will make everyone else upset, and the last thing you want to do is upset everyone you care about.

Because you know that pain, and you don’t want anyone else to know it.

But then you resent them for leaving you twisting in the wind, and you fuck everything up.

You become the martyr.

The rumors say that Cursive’s album Domestica is a semi-autobiographical story reflecting singer/songwriter Tim Kasher’s divorce. If true, The Martyr has an extra layer of sadness for all of us who have lost good things to the martyr trap. This song is a go-to anthem for those who were unwilling or unable to get help before it was too late.

(Song recommendation by Kevin D. Woodall)

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