I know how to make mistakes
Wasn’t grown enough to fake them
Everybody makes mistakes
Do we live and learn to brave them?
One of my coworkers let me listen to some songs by Nao in the middle of a hectic shift in the drive-thru. I don’t remember what songs she played and I don’t remember even being able to hear them at the time. Two months ago, I was looking for songs to listen to in the midst of my breakup with a boy that didn’t know what he wanted. My friend played me Nao’s Saturn album as we drove around, reaching the highest peaks of my negative emotions and feeling high in other ways.
At first, I couldn’t tell the difference between Nao’s high voice and the low bass. As I came back down to planet earth, I was able to hear what she was saying more clearly. To me, I was like, “Wow. I do miss him even though we weren’t right for each other in this lifetime. I will wait another lifetime for him if that’s what it comes to. If he can’t see that we were perfect together, I’ll wait another lifetime and even then, I’ll keep waiting.” I interpreted Nao’s lyrics about her own personal growth and struggle regarding her Saturn Return, into something that someone filled with insecurities and doubts would think. I was that insecure doubtful person. I wanted to fit myself into the mold of the perfect girlfriend who would wait and wait and wait and, like a manic pixie dream girl, change his life when he needed me the most.
Now, I hear this song for what it is to me — a piece of time. This song means so much to me, mostly because I cried to it about seventy-five times while I was dealing with this breakup. It also means a lot to me because here I am, looking back on this relationship that ended without closure, and I don’t feel a thing. Here I am, listening to the song that pulled me through that hard time and all I feel is strength. I feel unbreakable. I have been through some terrible terrible relationships and I’ve lost more than I’ve won in love. Though, I’d rather wait another lifetime for true love than wait around for someone to let me fix them.
I hope this song makes you feel strong.
(Song recommendation by Venus Davis)