Morgan recommends “idk shit about cars” by Evan Honer
“I guess I’m never in the right/I’ve fallen further than I’d like/I’m a lost cause at best”
With only eleven months in age separating my brother and me, we went through every milestone together. Whatever he experienced the year before me, he helped guide me through. In high school, we drifted apart. He was incredibly smart but hated to apply himself; he didn’t join any groups and fell in with-in my parents eyes-a less then desirable crowd. The day of his graduation we didn’t know if he was even allowed to graduate until three minutes before the ceremony. The next year he failed out of community college and began to twitch stream full time.
“I ain’t one to have a plan/I ain’t never been the man/I’ll fold every single hand”
The next year it was my turn to collect my diploma, I was the typical all American high schooler, three sport athlete, good grades, volunteering weekly. I even gave the closing speech and had the honor of saying the iconic line “You can know move your tassel’s”. After the summer went to cheer at a university a state away while he paid rent to live in his childhood bedroom. About five months after moving out, my brother and I have texted each other a total of three times when, one day, he sent me a link to a song on Spotify. The song title read “idk shit about cars”. Feeling lost and totally overwhelmed at college, I listen to the song and cry. Still in tears, I call him.
“I ain’t scared of the dark/I still break my own heart/I don’t know shit about cars.”
Hundreds of miles away and at seemingly totally different stages in life, we are still growing together. He is trying to find a path for his life that follows his heart in a way that works for him: nontraditional, unconventional, fulfilling, and modern. While I try to take on the collegiate world: balancing sports and school with working towards my future. We are still struggling to fit into the world. Sometimes we need a reminder that we are not alone, we need to remember that we don’t have to have all the answers, we need a mantra, a shared song, running straight through our heads.
Morgan McBride is a university student going into her third year studying Secondary Education and English in Iowa. Morgan plans to get a master’s degree in seminary studies after completing her undergraduate. Driven by her desire to teach, she plans to use her skills in literature studies to dive deeper into theological analyses and become a youth pastor one day.
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