Sam recommends “Kerosene!” by Yves Tumor
Getting older is weird, folks.
For me, it’s not so much about the new aches and pains, or even the inconvenient fact that I never have any idea what style of jeans or socks are in fashion anymore.
I get tripped out more on how my basic identity has changed in the last few years, due partly to the pandemic, partly to becoming a parent.
In 2019, I spent most days working at a cool company, with cool people, in a cool office that sat a stone’s throw from the Santa Monica Promenade. There were lots of coffee walks, lots of long lunches, and lots of happy hour drinks. After work, I might grab dinner or drinks with friends or coworkers, or I might go home to my cave-like apartment and spend a few hours leisurely cooking, watching TV with my husband, or reading a book. On weekends, we usually got up to something fun and alcohol-infused.
5 years later, I’m back in my hometown, living in a house where I spend more than 90% of my time because it also serves as my WFH office.
Oh, and there’s two children under 5 living in that house with me, too. Children I conceived, gestated, and birthed. And that I now feed, clothe, and bathe daily.
I love my life, and the people in it. And I am very aware of how lucky I am to be living it. I wouldn’t say I ever yearn for my 2019 existence. But, sometimes, in my much rarer free and idle moments, I do like to think back on those times and relive them a bit. Remember that I used to be young, and kind of cool, and relatively carefree.
And in the last year, I’ve found that “Kerosene!” by Yves Tumor helps me melt into that mindset. I say melt because the beginning of the song is absolutely divine, dreamy, and psychedelic. It feels like taking a Xanax, slipping into a warm bubble bath, and slowly settling into serenity.
But the most glorious moment comes about a minute later, when the heavy metal portion of the song kicks me in the head and floods my brain with dopamine. I can’t explain why, but the raw energy of the screaming guitar triggers a montage of memories of the most memorable nights of my twenties.
In that moment, I feel like a badass again. So I turn it up. And more than likely, if I’m alone in the car and have a few miles to go before arriving home, I play it again.
Samantha Lamph/Len is a brand strategy and copywriting consultant living in California. She is also the creator of Memoir Mixtapes, the publication you are reading at this very moment.
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